What Once Was Mine
by comealongpond
Summary: What would have happened if Rapunzel's tears didn't possess any healing powers?  Rated T for death and general sadness.


**A/N: So I wrote this a long time ago. A really long time ago. I decided I should probably come back to it and finish it. I guess I've always wondered what would happen if Eugene actually died in the tower, as sad as that is. Also, I didn't really look over any of this, so it might be absolutely awful. Hopefully not.**

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><p>Rapunzel sat on the floor of her tower, clutching the body of Eugene Fitzherbert, her first and only love. His words kept playing over and over again in her mind. <em>"You were my new dream." <em>He had been her dream too. All her life she had one dream – to leave and see the lights – and he had made that come true. He was the one that taught her she got to go find a new dream now. How terribly unfair it was that her new dream was something she could never have. She wanted _him_, only him, but now her chance was gone.

She didn't want to believe that it was over, but she knew it must be. It had been minutes now since he had made a sound. Her hand was pressed to his heart and she could not feel any trace of a pulse as the blood from his wound stained her palm.

But how could it be? Her Eugene…dead? How was it that he had done so many life threatening things in his life but he was never fatally injured until right now? If he had to die at all, why did it have to be _now_, right after they had fallen in love? She regretted ever meeting him at all if it had to end this way. Maybe never knowing love at all was better than having to see him die.

But no…that wasn't true. The past two days had been unmistakably the best days of her life. She wouldn't trade them for anything. She saw and learned so much, and she had met the most amazing person ever. But even reflecting on all the amazing things that had happened didn't make her feel better. If anything, it made her feel even worse.

If it wasn't for Gothel, they might have been happy together. They would have been. They could've been together forever… Last night had just been the beginning, but now, they had already reached the end.

She held him closer, praying for him to wake up again. Maybe he wasn't dead yet. Maybe he was just…unconscious. That happened when people lost a lot of blood, right? But even if he was, she still had no way to save him.

Anger boiled up inside of Rapunzel, and it wasn't even directed toward Gothel. It was at Eugene. She could have healed him. She was seconds away from healing him, and he _ruined _it. It wasn't fair. The one thing she wanted, and he wouldn't even let her have that. Hadn't he understood how desperately she wanted him to live? He deserved a good life so much more than she did. But he had to go and cut her hair… She didn't even care if he had done it for her. It had made him die. It was his fault that she was so upset right now.

Why didn't he _listen_ to her? Everything could have been alright – it wasn't _just _a lie to make him feel better. She could have healed him, he could go on with his life, and she could go live with Gothel… It couldn't have been much worse than where they were before. But he wouldn't settle for that. Instead he had to go and "save" her. As if that had worked. Wasn't it obvious that she was miserable now? She was positive that no matter what happened to her, the only way she would be happy was if he was alive.

She saw her brown hair hanging at the side of her face, and she sighed, her eyes flooding with tears. It wasn't worth it. Why hadn't he seen that? Sure, she might be "free," but what use was it if her one true love was dead? What a stupid decision he had made.

Still, she might forgive him if he would just wake up…

_No one could survive this long after being stabbed._ The thought circled around Rapunzel's head but she tried to ignore it. She might be furious with Eugene, but she still wanted him here, more than anything else. But what was she supposed to do? Without her hair she had no idea how to heal people. To be honest, she doubted even the most knowledgeable medical expert would be able to heal him by this point.

Gingerly, she reached out and touched his cheek, cupping his head in her hand. His skin was much too cold. She stared at him for a while, her whole body feeling numb. He was so handsome… Even like this. She wondered how long she could sit here with him before she would have to leave. Maybe she could stay here forever. Probably not.

Looking down at his motionless face, she used up all the hope she had left that many he was still alive. Maybe his eyes would flutter open and he'd say he was fine. It was just a cut, after all. Maybe he was still in there. Maybe he knew she was with him. She knew it was unlikely, but she wanted to believe for as long as she possibly could.

Because it was all she knew how to do, she finished singing her healing incantation:

"_Heal what has been hurt_

_Change the fate's design_

_Save what has been lost_

_Bring back what once my mine"_

He was hers…for that one night, out on the boat with the lanterns, he had been hers. God…she would anything to bring those feelings back. Her breath was uneven by this point and she could hardly sing, not to mention think.

"_What once was mine…"_

The tears were flowing even more freely now, much more than before. She was pretty sure one of them landed and hit Eugene's face. There was really no point in holding them back. No one was here to see her; there was no reason to pretend like she was okay.

Sobbing, she held Eugene's lifeless form, never wanting to let go. She couldn't just leave him here – but it was useless. Her song hadn't done anything. Her power was gone and so was he.

Things were so quiet… All she could hear for the next couple of minutes was her own crying, which was frenzied and pathetic. The sun was starting to come out now. Was that a good sign? Oh, what did it matter? What mattered at all if Eugene wasn't here with her? She was alone, with not even Gothel here to comfort here. She knew now that Gothel's love had been faked, but at least it had been something.

For the first time, Rapunzel noticed that her chameleon had come up beside her, blue and looking sadder than ever. Pascal had only seen her cry a handful of times, and she instantly felt guilty for making her only friend so upset. Even though she was very thankful that he was still here, the truth was that Pascal could do absolutely nothing to help her. She smiled gently at her pet anyway, looking back to Eugene again.

She supposed she would have to move eventually. Wiping her eyes, she moved Eugene's head from her lap and set him gently on the tower floor. It pained her to look at him like this. There was blood pooling on the floor all around him, a bit of it having gotten on her dress.

When she stood up she felt like she was about to fall over. Looking around, she grabbed some of her old cleaning rags and started dabbing up the blood. It was weird, but she couldn't stand looking away from Eugene. She always had to glance back every few seconds to make sure he was still there, not like he could have moved. After a while she had soaked up the majority of the blood, even though the floor was still a dark red. She wasn't really trying too hard. She just wanted it to look a little better.

She tossed the rags aside and hurried to Eugene's side again. She had stopped crying for the last couple of minutes but now the tears threatened to come back again. She looked up and down at his body. She already knew how heavy he was from last time he was unconscious in her tower. At least then she had her hair to help her.

But what was she supposed to _do_? She obviously couldn't leave him up here, although that would be the easiest option. She knew he deserved a proper burial, but she had no way to do it. She had never had any use for a shovel before. How far would she able to carry him anyway? It would be hard enough to do even if she wasn't feeling extremely weak.

First step first. Rapunzel scrambled across the floor to where the top of the stairway was, taking out the floor panel. She and Gothel had used the stairs to get up just a few hours ago. It felt like so much longer ago than that. She had wasted so much time that morning thinking about Eugene. She knew he wouldn't leave her like that, and it turned out she was right. Eugene had never even gotten a chance to explain what happened after he left her in the boat. She knew that Eugene didn't just leave on his own, but now she would never know the full story.

Well, at least she knew that he loved her. That's way he came back. He _gave his life_ for her – that had to be love, right? And she was forever grateful for that. Even if he did cut her hair… On the whole, what he did was a good thing. She was no longer bound to Gothel. She might actually be able to go somewhere with her life now. Although she was sure it would take her a while to go back to normal after losing Eugene.

She looked down at the stairs, wondering just how she was going to do this. She moved back over to Eugene, putting an arm underneath him and trying to lift him. Why was he so heavy? Even now she was mad at him.

Eventually she decided on just pushing him to the stairs. It was a lot harder than when she was pushing him into her closet. Physically she supposed she it was about the same (expect for the fact that this time she still felt sick to her stomach) but emotionally it made her uncomfortable dragging him around like this. Before she knew he was just knocked out, but this time he actually wasn't going to wake up…

It took a fair bit of effort to get him onto the stairs at all. Sighing, Rapunzel took a last look at her tower. Who knew when she would come back? Who knew if she would ever _want _to come back? Sure it had been her home her whole life, but the horrible events that happened there today were enough to taint her memory of the place forever.

And it's not exactly like the place looked very welcoming anymore. What with the broken mirror and the blood and her brown hair strewn all over the place. She would be glad to get out of here, despite having no idea where she was going to go next.

After allowing Pascal to climb up onto her and grab hold of her dress, Rapunzel stared her journey down the stairs, heaving Eugene over her shoulder. She felt like she was going to collapse under the weight, but the only other option was leaving him behind.

Oh, Eugene… Rapunzel closed her eyes for a good long moment. Maybe this was just a dream and she would wake up any second now. But it wasn't. It was absolutely reality.

Rapunzel liked that in was dark in the staircase because it allowed her not to look at him. She couldn't stand how helpless he looked. He was never helpless. Not in life. For a while, it was pitch black going down the stairs. She had to stop a few times to catch her breath and reposition Eugene, but eventually she saw light coming from farther ahead. With newfound strength she reached the end of the staircase and exited her tower. She placed Eugene safely on the grass as soon as she got out, glad to have nothing to carry again.

It was actually a rather nice day, though she wasn't at all in the mood to appreciate it. The sun was peeking through the clouds, probably about to disappear any moment. She expected it might rain soon. Oh, why was she thinking about _rain _at a time like this?

With a sigh she fell down to sit next to Eugene, tucking some of his hair behind his ears. Did he die happy? She couldn't help but wonder. He must have been happy. He knew she was free. He knew she was his new dream, if he had been awake enough to hear it. Why hadn't she told him she loved him? She guessed he must have known, but she had never even told him. She loved him more than anything. He had to have known that…

She looked around the valley with little interest. This was the second time she had ever left her tower, in her whole life. She had been so ecstatic about it the first time, but now it wasn't nearly as invigorating. The rush she had felt last time about touching the grass and seeing the trees was now gone. She was used to being outside by now.

She leaned against the wall of her tower, closing her eyes as Pascal climbed off of her and watched her sadly. She was so tired she could have fallen asleep right there, not that she ever would have. She had something she had to deal with it. Slowly, she looked down at Eugene again, her heart breaking like it did every time she looked at him. After he had…died, that was.

Where was she supposed to bury him? There was no way she was going to carry him much farther. It would be nice to bury him by the tower, wouldn't it? That was where he died, after all. Yes, that would work, Rapunzel decided.

She looked around for a while and then dragged Eugene's body next to the river. How on earth was she supposed to do this? She couldn't dig a hole, not really. But she couldn't just _leave_ him there with nothing either.

After a while, Rapunzel choose a spot where the ground was soft. She couldn't really dig anything worthwhile without a shovel, but it was something. She began digging at the earth with her hands and a little while later she had a small intent in the ground. She pushed his body into it, sprinkling the dirt over him, not at all liking the way he looked when he was all covered up. God. He deserved so much better than this.

She broke some branches off the nearest bush, laying them prettily across him. That was slightly better. At least this way you couldn't really see him. By the most angles, he was blocked by the foliage anyway.

Rapunzel looked around for other things to add the grave when she saw something at the foot of her tower, just barely visible from where she was sitting. Her heart sank a little when she realized what it was. _Gothel…_Being busy thinking about Eugene, she had almost forgotten…

Rapunzel made her way over to it, and as she got closer she was not exactly surprised by what she saw. All that remained of the women she had known as her mother was a pile of dust and her clothes. She broke into tears when she sat down beside it. How was it that she had lost the only two people that ever mattered to her, both in one day?

She ran her hand through the dust, letting the wind carry it away. Gothel was definitely gone. Perhaps she shouldn't have been sad about this – she wasn't that good of a mother, after all, and it was because of her that Rapunzel had to live her whole life cut off from the world. It was also, Rapunzel remembered with a pang in her chest, her fault that Eugene had died. But this woman _was_, in a way, her mother, and she couldn't just forget that, no matter how awful she had really been.

"Goodbye," Rapunzel whispered, dropping the dust that was in her hand. She picked up Gothel's cloak and then glanced back to where Eugene's grave was.

Several minutes later she had Gothel's cloak draped over Eugene's body, which made her feel much better. Now at least she couldn't see him. Looking at it all, she supposed it was the best that she could do. But it wasn't complete yet. Rapunzel wished very much that she could go back and get her paints. She could get a stone and paint him a proper headstone on it. Maybe even add some pictures. But there was no way she would be able to deal with going back up there to her tower – not now. Maybe later, much later, if she ever came back she could make the grave look nicer…

All of sudden, horrible thoughts swarmed Rapunzel's head. He would still be here, wouldn't he, after years and years? She shuttered thinking about what his body would look like, and immediately started trying to distract herself. Anything to get that image out of her head. When she thought about it, it reminded her that he would be gone forever, and she didn't like that.

Soon, she sat next to the tree closest to Eugene with the sharpest rock she could find. She began carving words into the bark. It was the best she could do. She carved his name and then paused, adding something under it:

_Eugene Fitzherbert_

_Flynn Rider_

Somehow, she felt it important that she mention both names. After all, Flynn Rider had been his identity for years. She was the first one in who-knows-how-long who knew his real name. She thought of adding more but she wasn't quite sure what else to put. It was blatantly obvious to her when she was sitting there how little she actually knew about him. She didn't even know how old he was. There were so many things she had never bothered to ask him. How could she be this in love with someone she hardly knew anything about? There were so many things she had to learn about him, and know she would never get the chance.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there, wiping her tears on her sleeve. She knew she couldn't stay here beside him forever. But where was she supposed to go? She realized now how little she knew how to do on her own, at least when it came to real life. She probably wouldn't have even survived the past two days if Eugene wasn't there to help her. The logical thing to do, of course, was to go back to the kingdom. If she really was the lost princess then surely the King and Queen would recognize her and take her in. She had to at least try that. But how was she even going to get back there? She knew the general direction of the kingdom, but she wasn't sure how well she would be able to make her way there.

But there was nothing to keep her here. Nothing except Eugene, and he was gone now. He wouldn't even know if she left. He was just a body and she had to start thinking of him as such.

She would come back and visit him, though… Sometime. She would find a way to come back and say goodbye to him again, and to get her things out of the tower. But first she had to go back to Corona and figure out what she was going to do with her life now that it felt like everything was crumbling apart.

Rapunzel held out her hand, letting Pascal crawl back onto her and whispering thanks to him for being such a good friend. Finally she stood up, straightening out her dress. She knew she must look like a mess. Her dress was covered in blood and dirt, as were her hands. Her hair was messed up and her eyes were red and swollen from all the crying she had been doing.

She sighed and looked off in the direction of the kingdom. So she was going back. She better start walking now or else she might never leave this place.

Glancing behind her, she took a look at Eugene's makeshift grave. She frowned and blew him a kiss, whispering, "Love you." Then she turned forward again and started walking. This was probably the hardest thing she'd done in her whole life.

She felt like she was going to fall over at any moment. She couldn't tell where she was going, but she kept moving, out under the canopy of vines that cut off her tower from the rest of the forest. She had been so happy the first time she left, but now, nothing had the same beauty that it did before. The forest looked gloomy and scary and she almost wanted to run back to her tower where at least she had always been safe.

It was quiet, too. Where were all the birds and the animals that scurried around, making rustling sounds, like that bunny she and Eugene found… _Wait. Don't think about that_. Rapunzel blocked the memory out, instead just listening. Hold on, there _was _something else here. It sounded like…a horse.

Rapunzel was startled for a moment as Maximus came up beside her, neighing happily. She had all but forgotten about him with everything that had happened. Wiping her eyes, Rapunzel managed to smile a little bit, glad to see another friendly face aside from Pascal. "Maximus?" she asked weakly. She realized that Eugene had probably gotten here on him, and that's why he was so close by.

The horse looked sad, like he understood how she was feeling. Rapunzel walked towards him, petting him briefly. It was strangely comforting. "Hey," she said, speaking quietly. "You know where the Kingdom is, right? Do you think you could take me there?"

Maximus nodded, so Rapunzel climbed onto him, holding onto the reins as they started making their way back home.


End file.
